february favourites

12 good things from the most depressing month of the year.

february saw few highs and deep lows. i got back into long walks by the lake (high), found my perfect pair of black pants (high), and made my best roast chicken to date (high). on the flip side, the hole in my spine that was previously patched in november, split back open (low, low, low lowwww). i went from feeling physically capable and creatively inspired, to falling into a deep, dark, numb state. ever since my procedure, i had mapped out my ‘new life’. without pain governing my every move, i was ready to DO all the things that i wasn't able to do all these years. i started outreach to artist residencies around europe with the hopes of writing my cookbook. i saved ‘miley cyrus arm’ workouts on tiktok with the goal of getting FIT. i hunted for apartments in paris. i shopped for tiny, strappy tops, suddenly in the mood to PARTY. everything felt so big and real and sparkly and possible, until it didn’t. at the end of jan, as i neared my final days of recovery, i lifted a grocery basket that my spine deemed ‘too heavy’ and my patch split. my dreams of being a healed and sexy woman, torn to shreds. what followed was an instant and deep depression we simply do not have the time to get into. as the weeks passed i started to experience a certain hunger, turns out i am not designed to lay in bed and wallow. towards the end of the month, my will to live returned. and now, safely nestled in the opening week of march, my spark is re-igniting. i’m getting dressed every day and drinking tea in the sun and journaling a lot. below, some of the little things that made a dark month brighter.

tea: inspired by a blend originating in pike place market in seattle, market spice tea was on heavy rotation last month. a near sensory overload, it’s a black tea that’s been laced with cinnamon and orange. the flavour is so potent that i drink it clear (it’s also incredible iced). if you’re in canada, i get my loose leaf from chaibaba. i like to make my tea in a glass bodum, no microplastics from tea bags, a little loose leaf goes a long way, and that way i can add fresh ginger if i feel like it.

lip balm: my younger, cooler cousin turned me onto the revlon super lustrous glass shine balms and they quickly became my most used lip product. i grabbed 3 shades (sparkling quartz, pink flip, and nude illuminator), and i love how hydrated and juicy my lips look after using. in a world of $40 lip products, be a $12 revlon balm.

flowers: zeke got me a bouquet for valentine’s day and it was one of the highlights of my entire month. in the armpit of winter, i seemed to forgot how much fresh flowers liven up a space. a couple of weeks before vday he went on a mission, booting to three different floral studios until he found one that specialized in tropicals (my fav). he arrived armed with screenshots of my past bouquets, where he worked with the florist to construct me the perfect arrangement. to be loved is to be known.

dessert: craving a sweet treat one night, i tore up a couple dates and pan fried them in butter. i topped them with some raw vanilla powder, then pulled them off the heat once the edges were crisp and lacy. i threw them atop a scoop of vanilla ice cream, then garnished with some smoked maldon salt. the soft, warm center of the dates hardened after making contact with the ice cream, giving them a chewy caramel-like texture. the most eaten dessert of feb.

thrift: i chatted to one of my favourite people on substack about home stuff! you can read my blurb here on long live.

shorts: these shorts were my sleeper hit for the month. i had never heard of california incline when they reached out, but was truly mind blown when i got their product in the mail. the shorts are *so* well made. i love the pockets, the cord used in the waist, the heathered grey (which i can’t find on their site atm). constructed from 100% heavy cotton terry, they feel very luxe without the risk of pilling or deteriorating. zeke and i wore these an equal amount last month. i liked to pair them with an oversized vintage sweater to appear cozy/cute, zeke preferred them with no top to appear hot/as/fuck. a win for the whole family.

stretch: proof that the best things in life are free. in feb i committed to a daily stretch, at best both am and pm. some mornings i couldn’t get out of bed (per migraines), so the eod stretch was a favourite. lazy and languid in nature, i usually put on some mazzy star infused playlist and rolled around on the turkish rug in my bedroom. it dissolved any physical manifestation of stress, and i swear it helped with my sleep. *bonus* it’s lowkey foreplay.

roast chicken: during my depression black hole i did what any youngest daughter would do, and drove to my childhood house. my mom and dad fed me pasta and home made pizza and fresh pie. they told me they were proud of me, my dad made me a fire every day, and my mom taught me how to play crib. my last night with them i decided to say ‘thank you’ the only way i know how, through food. i used an alison roman recipe from the nyt app, but i added the zest of 2 meyer lemons to the top of the bird. i served it with a fat fennel salad, red wine vinegar infused buttery tomatoes, home made roasted garlic aioli, and a crusty sourdough boule.

slow roasted oregano chicken with butter tomatoes

alison roman via NYT cooking

yield: 4 to 6 servings

• 1 (3½- to 4-pound) whole chicken

• kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

• ¼ cup olive oil

• 1½ tablespoons fennel seeds, crushed in a mortar and pestle or spice mill, or chopped with a knife

• 1 bunch fresh oregano

• 1½ pounds small vine-ripened tomatoes (about 6), halved lengthwise

• 2 heads of garlic, halved crosswise (it's fine to leave the skin on)

• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces

• zest of 2 meyer lemons

• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar or white wine vinegar

• 4 to 6 (1-inch-thick) slices of good country bread, such as country loaf or sourdough, toasted (optional)

prep

1. heat the oven to 325 degrees. season the chicken with salt and pepper. (if you can do this in advance, please do.) drizzle it with the olive oil and sprinkle with the fennel seeds.

2. stuff the cavity with half the oregano and place in a large baking dish. scatter the tomatoes, garlic, butter and remaining oregano around the chicken. *if you’re adding meyer lemon zest, throw that on top of the bird now*

3. roast until the chicken is golden brown and completely cooked through, and the tomatoes are nice and jammy, 2½ to 3 hours. add the vinegar to the tomatoes and let the chicken rest in the baking dish for 10 minutes.

tip

the chicken can be roasted a few hours ahead; it's very good at room temperature.

black pant: i worked with ref in february and one of the pieces i chose for the project were the vida low rise pants. to find a pair that works for my daddy long legs, wide hips, and small waist is a process that i avoid on the regular. which is to say that i haven’t bought black trousers in 3+ years. but guess what, i struck gold with these. they sit perfectly on my hips, and are long enough for the legs attached to my 5’10 frame. i can’t wait for the weather to improve so i can wear them with a cute vintage top and cunty kitten heels. i’m on restock alert for this zebra print pair, but i’ve also got my eye on the light pinstripe ones for summer. i’m a 26 waist and got a size 4 to accommodate my hips.

electrolytes: pludo came onto the scene and hit my weck jar immediately. i’m still waiting for an electrolyte sans stevia, but these do have the least stevia-y aftertaste. my favourite flavour is the pink yuzu, it does well with the juice of ½ a lemon and lots of ice. zeke drinks the lemon when he’s playing hockey. a new heavy hitter in our household.

heat: it seems as though each month i fixate on a condiment and february was no exception. the condiment du jour was calabrian chili and i paired it with… everything. jammy eggs, mushroom and ricotta pizza, aglio e olio, avocado toast.

bath salts: this CBD bath soak from sunja link made my baths in feb a somewhat spiritual experience. the peace blend has palo santo and geranium, a glorious combo, and a heavy dose of CBD that really helps to mellow out any aches and pains.

thank you for being here, i promise more consistent posts are around the corner <3 okay love you.